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In the beginning, and on the last installment...more to come!

On the last episode of The Sundae Comic.

Its been so long...I still have so much written out for that storyline arc, and yet, not enough drawn.

Should I continue it?

Yep, here it is.

I've been alone with visions in my mind...
To thwart your plans upon Third Earth...a thousand times...
I sometimes see you at the castle's door...
Mummra? Is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes.
I can hear it in your laugh.
You're already ever-living...
...and the Sword of Omens waits.
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much...
...Thundercats, hoooooooooooo--

Though Jaga calls upon me to beware...
Reminds me of the time you trapped us in your lair.
Dangling by chain over lava flow...
Mummra? I've just got to let you know.
Cause I wonder where you are.
Are you lonely in your tomb?
Is it a drag being a mummy?
Or is it a drag just being you?
Tell me how to make you stop...
...If there's something I can do.
But let me start by saying...
...Thunder 
Thunder 
Thundercats...

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

With the progress that was made with Fogahn, I decided to use that character to represent this account as a wicked looking avatar. In the past, I've simply used a black Texan flag as an icon, so I mixed the two. The glowing orange underneath was supposed to play off of the link to the name "Phobotech" above the image. 

With Fogahn as the base, this was the first.



...But after rocking that for almost a year, I began to look fondly back on the original helmet design, seen here. I began tinkering around with a variant icon that was closer to that design. My favorite colors being blue and silver, the second icon came out more like something out of GI Joe...not what I was going for, but it was on the right track.



I began tweaking around the helmet designs and tinkering around with color choices, until finally I had a great King Fogahn icon that I used to represent "Phobotech." The third icon was one of my favorites.



But now its time for a change. I'm growing bothered by the armored half-halo that mounts at the chest and sweeps over the shoulder. I've been wanting to do a modern adaptation of the King Fogahn helmet for some time. I've done variants with helmets, with hats, with gas masks, with more spikes... Today, I decided to throw in a denim vest I've been wearing for years. Here's the fourth icon!



What do you guys think?

-G-

Ahh...thats calming.

    A week ago I was having a lot of anxiety that all seemed to be piling up at once. I want to assure y'all that most of it has been resolved or its on a healthier track...I've had plenty of enlightening, valuable real-talks with a lot of you guys and family and friends, and I really cherish the feedback I received.

• I was struggling with maintanence on my motorcycle, and through trouble-shooting, researching, and funding every part that I needed with commissions, using my art to actually cover every cost necessary, I jacked my bike up, took it apart, learned about how it works, replaced a couple of parts, and now its working perfectly fine again. I am mobile! Last night was a successful cross-city test ride, and it worked just like I remembered it. I didn't mess up...and thats a relief... (If you wanted to know, the battery kept turning up dead when I tried to start it. It turned out to be the voltage regulator/rectifier, even though I also, mistakenly, replaced the Stator, which is a significantly more difficult part to even get to...the stress was high, but I guess I have a spare Stator, and now everything works.) I had been down without my motorcycle for almost three weeks...it is my only vehicle.
• Possibly from the stress of dealing with the Stator difficulty and my own self-doubt in the task, my lymph nodes began to enflame a little more than a week ago. Like an idiot, I self-diagnosed myself through WebMD and OHMIGOSH, CANCER OH NOOOESS...lol, so I stressed myself out with the possibility of might having cancer. This was foolish.
• Then my buddy from out of town came to visit, handed us out wedding invitations, and we all got pretty crunk. I did what I usually did and drove home drunk (in a car that was not mine). My buddy got arrested for driving drunk, and well...not to make his misfortune about me, but it was a bit of a wake up call...I was wrought with guilt over the whole ordeal, both what happened to him and what I did. He's fine, he wound up driving home the next day, a little embarrassed but healthy. It got me thinking what if he had died? What if I got pulled over, what if I died? What if he or I killed somebody? And it all culminated to a general disgust with alcohol after five years of pretty consistent and excessive drinking.

    I hate to admit that last night, (the test voyage of the motorcycle, post maintanence) I had two shots of whiskey with my buddies that still drink. Didn't even really do anything for me, which is only solidifying my position on the matter...while my best friend assured me, "you don't have to QUIT, you just gotta learn to pace yourself and ration it...not go over the top" I'm of the opinion that if I'm gonna drink, its either going to be all or nothing...and with the embarrassment that I am when its "all", I'd just as soon stick with nothing.

    But what did come out of the conversation with my best friend came down to goals and making something of our lives. I spend far too much time on the internet...facebook is a waste of time, youtube is a waste of time...all of the webcomics that I read while no attention is paid to the webcomics I want to make...the ones that I have the ability to write and create, ink and color and script. Instead of animating, I'm reading Cracked articles. Instead of studying for my solo certification, I'm posting on the BBS. Instead of making steady income, I'm scrolling through the endlessness that is Tumblr. Or I'm fapping.

    I'm probably fapping.

    And this is nothing new...I've had similar self critical complaints about myself for years of my life, but it always seemed like "Ah fuckit, well I'll go drink with my buddies, play some vidya games, and subject each other to things we saw on the internet." ...and that just won't cut it anymore....and I think the only thing thats keeping my head up is I have a range of goals to pursue. That I CAN pursue, and I can reach.

    Its difficult to describe, and its probably not even that big of a deal like I'm making it out to be, but the successful dissassembly, adjustments, replacements, and reassembly of the functional motorcycle that I've wrecked on twice thats still my faithful steed...still riding like the day I got her...it really did something wonderful for my self esteem, because it debunked a huge chunk of that doubt that I carry around my neck...and having such positive feedback from those that I surround myself with, including y'all, is just...thats really valuable. That albatross fell into the sea these past couple of days, and its instilled a certainty within me that I can succeed.
    Cutting out the drinking is the first step. Losing weight will be a gradual process over time...now that I have a set of wheels of my own at beck and call, there's really no more excuses for procrastinating what needs to be done. To create and to work. I would be at my happiest if I were being productive while flexing muscles that were my talents, or honing skills that I cherish.
    I'll be sure to post what I create here. Hoping to get much more use out of these news posts, and actually start submitting content again...I've said that for the longest time, and the only way to prove that its different is by doing it. I really thank you for your support, and hey, if you haven't already, click that top right <3 icon to follow me...I'm 6 away from 300 and thats a milestone for me!

Lymph node under my left armpit are enflamed...oozing at a spot. Reddish. Swollen. Thought about shaving my armpit hairs just to keep it a little cleaner to manage, and yet I fear damaging the sensitive area...a blink of pain wanes in and out at what seems to be odd intervals...sometimes 10 minutes apart, other times 40 minutes apart. With a subtle ring of pain in my chest...I can't help but feel they're connected...am I having a heart attack, or is this angina? Why has my breathing become manual? Why haven't I been to a doctor in years...

It could've been when I sustained a fall on Wednesday morning...I've read lymph nodes can enflame in response to an impact or injury...at least, I'm assuming I fell at some point then...I can't remember. I drank myself to blackout status on Tuesday night, and I woke up with the left side of my leg and hip sore....drinking at my buddy's house to celebrate the return of an old friend...we both left and drove to our respective beds. I woke up in my bed...he woke up in a jail cell.

Thats what I woke up to. Two text messages from him last night. "Arrested" and "Help."...sent at 4 in the morning when I was already passed out....and fuck, man. What if one of my best friends fucking died on the last day he was going to spend with us in Dallas for a while. What if I got arrested? What if I died? Now a DUI is on the play for him...and I feel awful about it.

He got out yesterday. Got his car from the impound, and now he's driving back home to the fiance that we all received a wedding invitation to THE DAY we got drunk in the first place.

Fuck alcohol man. I've been drinking for years, and not once have I ever craved it. Not once have I ever gone, "Gee, I could sure go for some Bourbon" , "Wow, some Jaeger would really hit the spot!" "All thats missing is some tequila" ....I've never. Craved it. Its always been social. Always the mentality of "Hey dude! You can't drink alone, thats fucked up, lets do this!" or "Hey man, am I going to take this shot by myself?"

...Am I fooling myself that I don't crave it from time to time? Walking up to the front of the stage at some local venue while bands are doing sound check...the palp in my mouth as I smack my lips and think, "This calls for a beer." "Whats that, a free shot? Don't mind if I do."

...Do I have a problem? I feel like I'm wasting away. I feel like I have potential, and fuck, based on what? I feel like I'm getting less and less done as the weeks zoom by. Creatively. Academically. Professionally. Financially. Romantically. Socially? Puh...at least I'm doing one thing right....I think?

I'm a biker. I could die on the road this weekend from some asshole in a truck that was on his goddamned cell phone...on another warm night when I choose clear visor glasses instead of my full-face helmet. The same helmet thats protected my skull TWICE. In the only two accidents I've ever had.

That's fucking stupid. I'm an organ donor thats itchin' to share.

I might want to be a pilot, I may be a coordinated vehicle operator, but I am taking fucking idiotic risks driving drunk. Time, and time again...of course I've spent the night after a party. But on the sole basis of "it hasn't happened yet" I pull this bullshit again...and again....and I'm good! I drive abreast to active duty police officers on the abandoned streets of 2 or 4 in the morning. Or maybe they know, and they don't want to deal with me. Maybe I'm a problem that'll sort itself out in a ditch or in the side of somebodys car up the road.

Is luck finite? Will I even live long enough to find out!?

...and I'm done....I don't even want to drink anymore. I'm done with this shit. I feel like my conciounse is hungover. I want to cry, and I just want to crawl away and sleep, but I can't even do that. I stare at my ceiling and my mind travels in awful places...horrible simulations of what could have been. What can very realistically be....and it scares the shit out of me.

I'm done. If I want to show people what "L33T FUCKING SKILLS" I have as a driver or biker or pilot or whatever, they won't care, but if I did....I'm doing it sober. I'm so done.

 

I've been making commissions doing storyboarding, where its become evident that I need to practice on my speed in my free time. I've said this for years, but now that a client is dependant on my abilities, its really hit home that if I want to keep making money, I must be faster.

I've been neglecting my flight studies for quite some time now. Whats a bitch is theres really no way around finding just a "flight tutor", but on the other side, I've been all over the place making band art, band fliers, storyboards, local movie concepts, and miscellania, on top of helping my elderly dad, that I haven't had the time to check out other flight schools.

Still, I have a deposit remaining in this flight school...the sum of only a couple of hundred dollars which could definitely cover my solo certification. I want to at least earn that before I hit the road...either to a more cost-efficient flight training program, or a job or...something...I've even explored the option of sneaking my way into being able to AFFORD being a pilot by looking into aviation mechanic training.

That's been fresh on my mind on account of all of the stress I've endured with the motorcycle. Critical electrical failures has made riding it, my only vehicle, not as reliable. The battery keeps draining to death...and it ain't the battery's fault. I narrowed it down to either the Stator or the Voltage Regulator...and thats when shit took a turn for the crazy in my life.

See, I need this vehicle in my life...not only do I love it, but its my ONLY ride...one day I would love to afford something with four wheels, air conditioning and a roof...having been fucked over by garages far too many times in the past couple of years, I took it upon myself. I bought a $30 owner's manual, and I did me some READIN'. This book details every part, everywhere, how to tell if its busted and how to replace it if it is. I knocked out the maintanence myself.

Its been slow...its been exhausting...its been nerve wracking, since I'm dealing with a magnetic component that gets crammed in with moving parts, submerged in oil at the low end of INSIDE the engine....but I did it...I ordered the voltage regulator online, its a significantly easier part to replace, and I wait for its arrival. Either Friday or post Memorial Day.

I won't relax until after a safe test drive...

...in the meantime. I've been frequenting the forums more often...things have changed slightly, but I think its for the better. I still miss epic photoshop threads from time to time, but maybe they'll come back someday. With the stresses of my motorcycle lately, and the worries of my future in aviation that past several seasons, I haven't really touched flash, but I haven't forgotten about it either. I still honestly WANT to animate again....but the speed of the storyboards and the detailing of some of this album-art esque designs have spirred a vigerous motivation to start doing comics again...like, NOW. So get ready for that sooner than any animated toons!

*sigh*...I want to fly again. I want to ride again. But hey, at least I can vent to you guys. Thanks for taking the time to read. :D