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Not bad for a game jam!

I can appreciate a game that tries to teach the player patience under circumstances of urgency...while I was frustrated about tapping "A" in the wrong order, (repeatedly swinging 1, 1, 1, 1! 1!! 1!!!) I quickly learned to pace myself for the first volley 1...2-3...then, luckily, Grandma can spaz out and I can unleash a flurry of 1111111's until even Flour bags don't stand a chance.

While that game mechanic was unique to me, I'm also all too familiar of the character not wanting to turn around in mid attack. Poor timing on my choice when I initially began an attack in the wrong direction? Possibly...but it seemed "sticky" to me when she wasn't responsive enough to turn around after a finished attack, and cover her back.

The introduction gets the point our clearly, Even though this seems to be a predicament where Grandmas seemed to have forgotten her meds moreso than just drinking expired milk. But what was daunting was the game's method of showing us our progress.

I just beat the game, and I'm still unclear as to how it treats the wave / round / level increments. Is it...five waves = +1 round, 5 rounds = +1 level? Just before the explodey carrots came in, I was beginning to wonder if the game had an end... after the explodey carrots, I wondered if I was near it. As I zoned out, it seemed the waves of baddies after the explodey carrot was introduced was thinning...it actually got less challenging, even though there's more enemies, and this could be attributed to mastering Grandma's combo patterns. Then all of a sudden FRIDGE BOSS, but it turned out to be more a survival mode...held out, defeating the baddies, and we got a neat pose and a sort of underwhelming ending. One play through, I never even saw what the Game Over screen looks like.

By being a Game Jam submission, that alone seems to dodge it of fault, but if I were to criticize anything, I'd sum it up to it just lacks depth. Even for a Grandma tripping out in her kitchen not unlike a cartoon interpretation of the mother in Requiem For a Dream, it lacks deeper mechanics, clarification, and payoff.

A breezy, fun timekiller, the music was excellent, and so was the art. The wide-angled background looked awesome, though there seemed to be missed opportunities with changing the sky outside of the windows. Grandma's floppy titties did so with grace. Good job, y'all!

Mattster responds:

Thanks for the review!
All round has 5 waves (except for a few which seem to have 6 -.-), level 1 has 2 rounds, and each level after has 1 more round. The waves were quickly put together last-minute, so that's why they seem unbalanced. Most of the time was focused on gameplay rather than wave design.

There were lots of features and ideas for this game, but time became an issue since as it is a Game Jam game.

MC was pretty proud of those floppy tits.

Fantastic!

I was blown away by the art. The shadowy style of everything translated beautifully through this flash game. With each swipe of the sword drawing patterns through our foes and enemies turned the combat mechanics into art as our hero wades through the stream of demons. With a balance of anime themes and dark shading, nothing was overblown visually.

Though the dialogue was anime cheese, such is it's destiny.

The clouds between pillars of stones gave us the illusion of height. The shadows of the caves disrupted by beams of light blended with the atmosphere. The gears and machinery throughout even gave it a dash of steampunk. I absolutely love this game's style.

I even love our character's fighting style...and I kept finding myself waiting for the enemy to get up, like a patient samurai badass would. While the double swipe "S" specials worked well when surrounded. it excelled when used in patterns as your chaining combos off of our Firebat friends. The mighty "D" swipe proved to dispatch those Zerg Lurkers efficiently in succession...in fact, in hard mode, there's a moment where we have to kill two Zerg Lurkers who are right next to each other, constantly streaming a volley of underground spines.

Landing in between the two closest spines, one could jump up and do a downward "D" swipe over and over again until dead...My health was low after fighting the variable army moments before it, so I felt this cheap loophole was justified (But to YOU, the Author, I'm informing you of this in case you decide to make this harder in sequels)

Really, though, our hero is amazing. Combining the powerful "D" or the complex "S" specials in the middle of a combo wreaks impressive havoc on any number of enemies we'll encounter. But by far the most stimulating gameplay was the boss himself, Vandheer Lorde.

It took me off guard when I realized in easy mode we were controlling the boss instead of the samurai rebel...but this is actually, pardon my french, FUCKING. BRILLIANT.

Why? Not only does this give us an empowering and satisfying finale to the difficulty we're playing on (because we know for a fact the Rebel Samurai is no pushover), but it's literally a guide of knowing exactly what Vandheer is capable of...well, at least a rough IDEA of what he's capable of; I had no clue that his flurry of teleports that ended with a pose was an attack and not just evasive maneuvers...I only found out in hard mode that the pose he strikes at the very end from teleporting all over the place sends our guy SOARING through the sky. What a clever bastard.

But in all actuality, it's also brilliant because the whole game looks and sounds awesome, the gameplay is fun and stylistic, and after seeing first hand the ending that happens when the bad guy wins, it IMMEDIATELY makes us want to play hard mode in search for an alternate ending.

This is where I would have deducted a point in the score of my review, if only this game just wasn't so damn pleasing: there doesn't seem to be an alternate ending for beating it on hard mode. I don't know is this is a glitch or what, but after the eighth or ninth time fighting Vandheer, I finally beat him. I had a SLIVER of health, but I managed to get him all the way down, and received the exact same ending as it was an easy. So there's nothing we do can prevent the bad guy from winning? Granted, our hero goes out honorably with a good death, but...BUT....

...I cannot express how much I want a continuation of this.

Even if you take a page from other NG greats in the game-making community, there needs to be a huge version of this for Xbox Arcade or Playstation Network. People would buy the HELL out of this...especially if there were:
-More enemies than just our basic grunt, firebat, and Zerg thing
-More bosses
-More of journey
-More capabilities as time progressed.

The art, the environment, style, sound, the gameplay, the CHALLENGE...IT'S SO Refreshing. Definitely one of the Top 50 Best Flash Games I've played on NG in a long time. Though I beat it in one sitting, it was a wild, wild ride. Thank you. Fived and Faved!

Hit and Miss in some areas

As far as turret defense games go, this is actually pretty damn fun.

The dialogue and animated cutscenes aren't very frequent, but that kinda worked out for the better. The voice actor for our tuff-n'-gruff burly man was trying waaay too hard to sound tuff-n'-gruff...and it wound up sounding strained.

The animation was fine, the subtle nod to Duke Nukem by forgetting the "kick ass and chew bubble gum" line was worth a smirk. Or hell, I don't understand why he ditched a perfectly good motorcycle like that early on, it seemed kinda ridiculous lol. But the ending screen? Just a big collective of pop-culture robots and droids while he gets blown by a fembot.

What's worse is the name of the achievement for beating the game gives away an already underwhelming ending before we even earn it...so it was sort of a let down, especially with the "if yer a fembot, yew can jyust suck off..." line. Also, what does this ending imply about our engineer's manhood? That fembot doesn't seem to be covering a whole lot of distance in that up and down motion, if you catch my drift.

...But what WASN'T a let down was that damn challenge. A cheesy fembot bj was at least confirmation that "we did it." Ignoring that he can build these complex structures in the blink of an eye, so long as he has a pocket-full of ore. Ignoring the infinite amount of ammunition both in his guns and turrets. That made it so we could handle the challenges.

It was an interesting twist that we could blow up rocks to collect necessary HUGE collections of scrap, but I hated how long the fuse was on those things. Granted, that was meant to be a challenge for us as we managed our time and position, but being an engineer, one would hope he could do some fuse altering with simply a snip of some scissors, or punching in a different time-limit. While we're on the subject of practicality, why doesn't he just take his fuckton of metal and create a mech-suit?

It's all about positioning your turrets in the right spot...and with a few of those maps, it was trial and error, but it kept me glued to my seat. Yes, it would have been great if our Engineer could move faster, but I ain't going to argue with the man lugging around a rocket launcher and enough scrap metal to build a sturdy bridge. Thankfully you can armor him up, which I try to do early on in those city levels, but it upped the difficulty by not being able to replenish health...finally a game that has done away with the regenerative HP bullshit.

Visually, the art was great, custom maps translate well with the palette we have to work with. The robots were as interesting as they could look from the GTA/birds-eye view perspective, and their slow trudging movements provided tension to the environment when they amassed in numbers. The one thing I hated visually was in the city level there's this haze around the border to emulate dust I suppose. It makes me feel like I'm developing a cataract in my eyes, and it fucks with my vision. It's not an appealing illusion.

I love the designs, though. The laser sniper reminded me of an Immortal from Warhammer40K, the coolest looking bot imo was the green machine-gunner. I liked how it was sometimes more economical to upgrade one turret than to build several, this gave the Machine Gun turrets worth when they became miniguns. The Lasers kicked ass, and Flamethrowers next to bottleneck points saved my ass. I never once used the EMP turret. The gun of choice was a maxed out bazooka and nothing else.

The audio was great on my end. The stage music gets stuck in my head, and actually sets the pace VERY well. It goes with the robot's trudging motion, and even seems to emote the theme of building and fortifying. Really appropriate music choice. The sfx were awesome, and I suppose, given the voice actor that was chosen, it's merciful on us that he doesn't make a pained groan while trying to act tough whenever he gets hit.

With the map customization in sync with NG, and medal system, even 100% completion still lends this game some replay value. The ending chopper boss was intense. Voted 5!

Not so much of a time killer as it is time waster.

Our nameless hero has to make it across a dessert festering with zombies in order for him to escape to...somewhere. Truth be told, this game makes my head hurt when I put too much thought into it. I'm mortified by it's complete absence of logic or plot.

He's in the middle of the post zombie-apocalypse dessert and he "needs to escape this place." But there is literally NO TENSION whatsoever. He clearly has all the supplies he needs except for necessary funds. Yes, MONEY. He is clearly purchasing these cars from some other survivor we never see...at least I hope so otherwise this guy is just BATSHIT crazy and enjoys wasting time and supplies. He has a Volkswagon Bug, a Pickup Truck, and Semi, but really you're only gonna have the Semi, because the FULLY UPGRADED Semi is the ONLY THING that will get to your destination. Everything before it is a repetitive waste of time, but doing so in a way that insults our intelligence, and even more incredibly, siphons the fun out of mass vehicular zombieslaughter.

Somehow the lightest car has the absolute WORST gas milage. Somehow the Volkswagon which is very FAMOUSLY converted into dune buggies so it can be the best possible vehicle for this situation, cannot possibly make the cut. So really, you upgrade to a point where you get a decent amount of money so you can eventually buy the pickup truck. Because guess what? It doesn't matter how much you soup up this POTENTIAL DUNE BUGGY, all of that money will have basically been pissed into the wind. Why even bother with the goofy lookin' propeller? This guy has access to M16's and a fuckton of supplies, but he can't just HIKE the distance to the chopper? Our hero is a bitch.

Once you get the pickup truck, you enter the wonderfully liberating world of "Never Being Good Enough" but at least you have some of the most expensive tires I've never seen for a truck. You're also introduced to boxes! Yeah, stacks of empty wooden boxes made into little hollow forts of obstruction in random spots.

"Did that not slow you down enough?" I'll pretend the game asks me, "Well how about some Super Mutant Zombies!" Yeah, BIGGER zombies! There's STILL no tension, they're not any threat. I ran out of gas going uphill, and my truck daintily tapped one of these behemoths and it made an unenthusiastic "Brargh." and died. They just slow us down more. How fun and engaging.

I figured the boxes and super mutants were what these guns were for, but they only carry about 15 shots and they shoot automatically...We can't even get the power to PUSH THE TRIGGER!? They'll lay waste to the first volley of zombies and that's it. Aka "the ones that weren't even a problem for the Slugbug." Completely depleted ammo by the time it gets to the first box fort. Again, a pretty beefy truck makes it a great distance...our guy couldn't just take a wrench, tire-iron, or disassembled the still-cool barrel of the gun, and just club any zombies over the head on the way?

Our hero is also more lifeless than the walking dead itself. Seriously, he is somehow superhumanly stiff as a board when he should be getting whiplashed around like he's at a Slayer concert. He should be having the most fun, and he doesn't make one sound. By having an open door is somehow NO THREAT TO HIM whatsoever. Zombies die on contact with the bumper even long after it ran out of fuel. No zombies crash through the windshield and frantically attack the driver from inside the car like so many Deer do for me on my daily commute. There's not even a way for a zombie to double flip into the bed of the pickup truck. Also, this guy must be strong as hell...because he can LEAN and gain influence to a multi ton machine like a pickup truck or Semi.

Eventually a decked out Optimus Prime will finish the job, even though every time it hits the ground, it looks like it should be game over. The art looks good, the music is appropriate, though it gets old near the end. The zombie voice overs are uninspiring and seem to punctuate the pointlessness of this adventure. The Ending Screen was embarrassingly underwhelming. Voted 2

Difficult to play, difficult to have fun with

It's incredibly flawed.

The goal of the game, to clarify, is to juggle the beach ball. The more you juggle the ball, the more money you get for power ups so you can...juggle the ball the some more...

...

...You're not supposed to let the ball touch the ground. You have three lives that are lost each time it inevitably DOES touch the ground...when you're dead, you're immediately at the shop. Spending your money on one of four categories of power ups, each of which can be leveled up three progressing times.

The First Power Up: Money, gets you more money so you can buy more powerups...odd, but I'll roll with it...
Second? Force. Allows you to knock that shit higher, so you can lose control of it faster.
Third is weight to throw off whatever sense of timing you had somehow mastered after repeatedly clicking the ball incorrectly, making it ricochet off the walls, and fourth is gravity, because the game feels sorry for us at this point, and would like to do anything it can to make the task easier.

It would be a lot easier to concentrate, too, if only THAT MUSIC WOULD STOP LOOPING! It's like I'm stuck in a fan made Team Fortress 2 map that loosely resembles Mario Kart, and they didn't have the decency to put on Mario Music, so they tried to find the most bubblegum techno they could find and just jam it out on loop forever must to the chagrin of everyone else in the room who never asked for it. There's no way to change it or mute it, I have nothing else to distract me from the light pink sky and solid pink, out-of-place 8-bit uneven terrain...why is the terrain 8-bit and pixelated while the ball is clearly vector drawn? That makes no sense.

What also makes no sense is the physics of the ball-bounce. Now I see what the guy below me is huffing about, but I also understand why it's doing it...kind of...basically, if we click anywhere BUT the very bottom of the ball, it's going to send it anywhere but up. Therefore our average life span is going to be five-eight seconds tops. Wanna know why? Here's the real kick to our beach balls; y'see, when you're aiming for the bottom of a beach ball, and it's FALLING, sometimes at an angle after a miraculous bounce, unless you're timing is superhumanly perfect, chances are you're going to hit the dead middle or even sometimes sides of the ball. Crazy concept, eh? This is just on EASY...the game won't allow me to back out to the main menu to try out the other difficulties, so I won't even bother.

It winds up being an incredibly clumsy flash game, that rewards your clumsiness out of demonstrated determination, not trial and error. With a repetitive soundtrack that loops very quickly (1 minute, 11 seconds, to be exact) outstays it's welcome with no means of muting or changing it. Bland visuals accompany gameplay that is at it's core a very repetitive task over and over again garnishing no rewards or satisfaction to a user who can't strive for any goal or end-game. It's a numbing and frustrating dive into simplicity incarnate as far as time-killing flash gadgets are concerned. I'm afraid I can't vote highly on this.

-Review Request Club-

I don't get it.

For starters, "Warned" is misspelled in the beginning...err...warning.

But this isn't very accessible to your audience. Usually, during a point and click adventure, you're pointing and clicking at different things, and typically, sometimes, actually go on an adventure. The idea of which implies different environments, or things of significance to a story going on. While I admire your creative license on the concept, I stand by that it's not very accessible.

You hype it up to be a Halloween, scary type of flash. Yet you have the most non-threatening, calmest, what I can only assume to be anime soundtrack imaginable in the background to a girl staring at a body of water in the dark from a dock...more accurately, the BACK of a girl's head...even more accurately, the back of SEVERAL anime girl's heads. Sometimes she's a traffic light. Sometimes she's a street lamp. Sometimes she's decapitated. This makes no sense.

There's no explanation. Not even for the hooded man walking in the background, and his identical whiter cousin floating in the lake. There's no explanation as to why she turns into C-3PO and changes a color filtered layer over the whole thing. Or the multi-colored amoeba that descends among the sky. Why does she turn into a little girl, that when clicked multiplies herself over and over again until a very pixelated picture of a ghost woman consumes the background and screams? It's all very disconnected...a lot of waiting and clicking one spot, hitting one button, for little payoff. All over an obscure anime that you can't possibly assume the majority of your audience would be familiar with.

I imagine this took quite a deal of programming, and for that, I admire it's craft...for I KNOW THE HORRORS of Actionscript, lol. But I didn't really connect with this.......

....okay, admittedly, I didn't expect the startle at the end, but the graphic's pixelated quality detracted from what terror it was trying to emote. The sound? That was spot on. If it were louder, it may have made up for the visual quality...but I'm pleased that the jump scare couldn't have happened early on...not sure how it could.

The lack of diversity in interactions hurt it's score a little bit too. What was the point of that vending machine if it didn't do anything? Why make the girl on the further dock a button that does nothing? Why do we only get to stare at the back of the heads of so many characters? The lack of details are frustrating. Though at least the dock itself looked good. The white thing that seemed to be an amorphous blob of limbs coming out of orafices? Well, not to be rude, but that wasn't scary, nor did it look neat. If you truly wanted to go for psychological horror, you could have dug much, much deeper, and not relied on a Japanese Kid's show for influence. ;D As it was, it was a startle at most, and only at the climax. The rest was dulled perplexity.

Halloween is my favorite holiday, so despite all of my criticisms, I'm still voting 5, despite the score on the review itself. Give us more things to work with, and REALLY dig deep if you're going to try and scare us. Keep up the good work! You should aim your next flash into a direction of greater complexity. Challenge yourself, and kick some ass! :D

-Review Request Club-

Pienkaito responds:

Great review from club. Never expected less.

First of all, it's not based on anime. This animation is tribute to a 2005 independently produced surreal adventure PC game by homebrew Japanese developer Kikiyama. (Thanks wiki)

I can understand the non-logical aspect, because... Well, if I am making a tribute to a game that makes absolutely NO SENSE AT ALL in the first place, then I can only say this, even though it's a bit harsh: "What in the fuck is this shit?!"
It will lead to many confusions and endless open questions, so that it will render this animation on itself as uninteresting and boring if you haven't played the game, which is unfortunate. ;_;
The animation contains various sections of the game, so everything you see actually appears in the game in some sort of way.

In short, it's not a japanese kid's show. If it was, then they are seriously fucked up.

This was actually never meant to be scary in my opinion. It's very open to the audience to find it either calm, depressing or scary. (Excluding the last part, which is a lame attempt to scare someone)

I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE PROGRAMMED THAT FREAKING VENDING MACHINE. >=(
It was a nice easter egg in the game...
Speaking of content, yeah. It may seem lacking, but the game itself is exploring world and interactive with objects. That's that.
It would have been a nice jump-scare, if Madotsuki (the main girl) simply twisted her head like in the movie "The Excorcist". I actually planned to do it, but time was faster than me.

By the way, you should check the game out if you have NOTHING else to play. It's...surreal.
I also think that making this in less than 3 days is surreal as well IMO. lol

I really want to thank you for this constructive review. It totally pleases me and at least a few people left their opinion on it now.

PS.: Grammar and spelling mistakes are unintended. (obviously, haha)

Rebuild 2 is VERY addictive.

It's easy to get immersed into managing your group of survivors, and it can be pretty exciting once you have an entire city's worth of people, all talented, under your command.

After my first campaign, I learned to grow very leery of churches and preachers who gained too much sway. "Gentleman Jibbajabba" was a leader whom I had let publish his book "We Are The Dinosaurs" which glorified zombies. If you let him do whatever he wants for the sake of keeping people happy, well, sure your camp will be at a 100% :) but they're going to stop working altogether, and there's nothing you can do to stop people from killing themselves to join the horde, or taking holidays literally every single day. You can't just cancel a preacher's mission like you can a bartenders, so when half of your army dies in a month without doing a single thing you're telling them to do, you should pretty much just install a suicide button to save us time.

It was because of this negative experience that all of my newer towns/cities were called "Godless." I specifically reformatted every church I happened upon into either a school or apartment. This worked brilliantly, to the point where I had started new campaigns as Godless II, and Godless III. All successful. Except Godless IV which was on impossible difficulty...there just wasn't enough manpower, not enough food, and not enough time between constant hordes that grew stronger after each wave...equipping new guards with weapons from Godless III simply wasn't enough, recruits died too easily, and everyone was unhappy. Not even reviving churches seemed to fix this.

The music was wonderfully atmospheric, and it definitely sounded like something one would hear from a zombie film. The sound effects were...sufficient for what was going on...but that brings me to my thoughts on the visuals. We're looking at the bare necessities of visual stimulation in a game where the theme calls for it...it would have been it's most appealing asset and it just falls short. Maybe a quick comic panel here to show us we survived the zombie attack...a quick comic panel there to show us we lost some property...a newspaper clipping when we write the consitution, or an overall very silly vignette with poor, cropped out blood spatters, and a 90's arcade looking animation of a crow eating the face of some dude if we lose.

This could have been terrifying. This could have been awesome. This could have been a strong reason to keep replaying, for the immersion. When the zombies attack, it's a couple of vague humans supposedly our guarding force, and a couple of vague zombies separated by the same wall we see every time. Show us the attack! If that 8-12 across the street is overrun with zombies, why can't we see it? If we could actually see our people within the walls, being happy, miserable, or working, that would be much better. If we could actually see the rotting walking dead shuffling outside of our walls, or coming in hordes, that would be MUCH more tense than just a triangle with a "!".

On another note, why is it an apartment of several floors can only house, like, 2 or 3 people? Suburbs with several houses only 2 people? I call bullshit that we don't have enough room for recruits. Hell, we're surviving; here is a couch.

But at least our characters have faces to them. It's frustrating when you're clicking through trying to get a proper face for your starting leader. There should be better avatar customization, because some of the random generated ones we encounter look hilarious. Like "Curry Clay Aiken", "the town pedophile" and one of my soldiers looked exactly like Christopher Walken.

Also, it's implied you can have four save files, but it only seems to use the bottom slot. Is there a way to utilize the three other slots?

All in all, the music sets the tension very efficiently, and it's easy to get carried away with the strategy aspect of it all...but even the entire time I was playing, I felt something was missing, and I've deduced that the game needs better art and animations. Looking forward to Rebuild 3! Voting 5!

Incredibly Fun and Challenging! I LOVE THIS GAME!

To Players:
-READ THE MANUAL
-DOUBLE TAP DOWN to break silver or purple blocks
-IF FALLING FROM GREAT HEIGHTS, either hold DOWN or remember you have a double jump to evade near-death
-USE SHURIKENS OFTEN, WISELY, and RECOLLECT THEM
-PILEDRIVING = Holding down in midair for a downward stab. Quickly kills many enemies from above.

GREEN NINJA- A stab or shuriken should do the trick, kill if in the way.
PURPLE NINJA- If you move below them, they might fall on your from above. Take the precaution to kill them when you can, but be careful; groups of them can cluster up sometimes, so when you think there's one, there might be two. A stab or piledriver will take care of twins in one shot, but I'm warning you of this if you stick with shurikens.
FAT NINJA- Double tap the shurikens or piledrive. It's a little risky getting up close to double stab.
FOX DAGGER- When you see them from above, wait for them to throw their knife, then drop down and immediately shuriken. They usually throw a knife the moment you appear on screen, so let them make themselves vulnerable. If landing from way up high, REMEMBER TO KEEP DUCKING ONCE YOU LAND! Crouch below a thrown knife, stand and shuriken.
FROGS- Duck and shuriken AT A DISTANCE to kill them quickly if the terrain allows it. They'll jump towards you when you're a certain distance away from them. This becomes predictable with practice. You COULD approach, retreat, and stab. Similar to the Fox Dagger, they'll act on the level below you as if you were down there with them. After they jump, they're vulnerable for a second or three, so run in and stab them AFTER they've jumped.
MADMEN (The Electric Ghost)- They're very predictable, so just be patient and slip past them. If that ain't an option, you can kill them with a bomb.
KARAKA (Hopping Chicken)- A well timed shuriken or a stab should do it. Just try not to get too close.
DRAGON- Keep an eye peeled for that tiny green spike in the level you're about to drop down on AT ALL TIMES. The moment you land, quickly throw a single shuriken in it's direction, and it WILL hit before a fireball is shot. You can even shoot the shuriken from afar before the dragon is triggered to attack; it's hitbox is higher than the spike is. If the fireball is coming, duck and get away from the wall where it'll splash against.
EKI (Spiked Balls)- Can be destroyed with bombs if necessary, the tricky part is placing the bomb where the ball WILL be when it detonates. The one you'll probably need to bomb the most is the unchained one ricocheting all over the place. Typically predictable, just try to see their pattern and move around them.
WUM WUM (Purple Worms) Just avoid them or stab them.
GROR (Purple Stone Things) Can be bombed from above (before they fall, while attached to the ceiling). Typically you can just jump over them once they've landed. If you can't, bomb 'em.
NOMIT (Skeletons) They charge you the instant you land on their level. Shuriken them as quickly as possibly. If they somehow fall below you, but at such an angle you can't stab, try to outrun them to shuriken, time a well-placed stab, or land, double jump, and piledrive.
WALKING SPIKE TRAPS- Shuriken them when they've walked in an area where you could deal with a spike trap. SOMETIMES you can piledrive them and live if you juuust hit the sides, but it's risky.
NORMAL SPIKES- Evade or bomb 'em.
RIPPER-A well-timed shuriken or piledrive will kill them. If you MUST stab them, jump while you do it.
MAGICLOKE-This is important. Double Jump above them and PILEDRIVE 'EM. They will die without putting up a fight.
SCHIMP (Shield Ninja) Shuriken them in the back. They're almost invulnerable if they're stuck on a single space, so try to stab them without getting too close when that happens
DAINON (Block Tower) shuriken or stab the eye block. You can piledrive the one's where the eye is at the very top.
BAHAMUT- Some say you need nine lives and stay alive to summon him, others say you need to kill every kind of enemy without dying. Challenge Accepted.

Fun and Fast game! I love the NES Nostalgia! Voted 5! Thank you!

This game is rubbish.

-First off, it's very rude. The instant you hit play, you die immediately because nothing has been explained to the player as to what the hell is going on. You just immediately sink and die. No tutorial, no explanation, no moment to catch your breath.

-I closed out of the game just to reload it again to double check if there was a how-to-play or even a sentence telling you to "click to ascend" on the title screen...the preloader is timed to lie...it will not let you hit play until the ad has finished playing.

-Once you actually start to try and play the game...you know, FUTILELY ATTEMPTING to survive. The helicopter itself is the most clumsily ascending and descending helicopter I've ever played in a game. Sometimes it jerks up or down, other times it barely moves in a direction, before falling like a rock or careening upward. It doesn't take kindly to slight adjustments in a game where you're meant to guide the chopper through a gap about it's size.

I actually tried to see if I could get an upgrade that would allow it to handle better...you can literally "buy" upgrades that alter everything BUT how the helicopter handles. You can make the stage bigger, the chopper smaller, alter the size of the obstacles, HIGHLIGHTING the obstacles, get more gas, get more cash, speed it up, slow it down, EVERYTHING BUT it's key fault...that it handles like a mole rat with palsy.

And that's why this game sucks. It's a game about tightly maneuvering a craft that clearly can't maneuver to save it's life. The principal of which is retarded, because a helicopter can move up, down, left, right, forward, and back, and you've only given us the option for "click to move up." Nevermind hovering or moving AROUND the obstacles, I guess, because the trailing smoke indicates it's damaged. If there's a problem with the tail rotor, the chopper would usually be spinning wildly out of control toward the ground...so even it's damage doesn't make sense...

Nevermind why there's even floating blocks in a city...I've seen a flash game exactly like this but done better years ago where it was a much smaller green chopper inside of a much larger cave...maneuvering around collosal stalagtites and stalagmites. Not only did that make more sense, but it was more fun because the chopper did what the player told it to do. So I can't even credit the game on originality.

The more I think about it, the game is pretty pointless anyway. because it's high score based, we aren't really do anything and we don't have goals except buying powerups that are meant to reduce the bullshit. Normally games get harder as you progress, and you're promoting a game that makes it easier without sparing it's critical flaw...and for what? To get just a little bit farther? If it were fun, maybe I'd do it...but this game isn't fun, not appealing to the eyes or ears, and there's no incentive to keep playing...and therefore, it's pointless.

That's why I voted accordingly.

Pretty fun! Man, my wrist hurts...

Never before have I asked myself, "You know what this 'Defend this Castle Game is Missing?' ...if only I could just MOVE the damn thing around, that would make this task a whole lot easier." Thankfully, somebody thought the exact same thing. In Fortress Magnus, we get to steer our suprisingly agile castle around in the skies, streaming never ending punishment to our foes who seek our princesses.

Because to hell with the Queen and King. Seriously, they don't do anything.

While the game certainly does put our decked out Fortress in a tight jam from time to time, against a seemingly invincible, dense flying militia throwing WALLS of bullets at us, I seriously beat this thing in one play through, unlocking every achievement except for the survival mode-based ones. Some levels I didn't get hit once...a little bit manuevering, and a lot of it shooting down the bullets before they even reach you.

The game suggests to hold down the mouse for an extended rate of fire. My advice to you is to ignore that, and click as rapidly as you can. Nothing survives for long, and you can rapidly deal with threats that are coming from multiple angles. Click six times a second over here, five over there, and keep prioritizing the closest imminent threat until you've pretty much cleared it. Doing tight circles in the middle or away from where the enemies are coming from, you can make a mad charge for the health if you're getting critically low...and the good news for you is health is ALWAYS plentiful.

So is cash, evidently. Seriously, just kill EVERYTHING, and focus only on evading, anti-air, and immediately plop down one of your mech-knights for ground forces. At the end of each stage, it all comes to you anyway. That's right; power ups never fade away. There isn't any consequences to just letting them sit adrift out there among the incoming horde. The ending treasure chest selection is generous too...often times I just clicked the middle one sense my castle was pretty much there anyway and it saved time. 1 out of 5 times was it a weak payload. Pretty dependable boost of income, usually...maybe I'm just lucky.

The stages are nice and varied...it was an interesting twist as we got out to the ocean where we couldn't depend on our anti-ground Mech Knight. Those submaries bombarding below the flood of aircraft on both sides DID get overwhelming...but oddly enough, I didn't come close to dying. Like I said, health is abundant, and maybe I'm just quick enough to shoot the mind-numbing array of incoming ordinance. The closest I came to dying was being entrapped by a swarm inside the caves...but I pushed through for the untouched health packs, and my health was maxed out almost instantly.

Perhaps this game is going too easy on us...because by all means, this SHOULD be hard as hell. This SHOULD be one of the most difficult flash games ever...especially since the more you upgrade your castle, the bigger a target you are facing the bigger, more impenetrable fleets...but it isn't...it got easy, then it got medium as our firepower wasn't meeting up to it's necessary standard, then it got easy again.

I never missed a princess. I rescued each and every single identical, slutty looking anime princess dressed like a maid. It's kind of hilarious and out of place when they give that sultry "YEEAHH <3" and pop in the corner to make a pose before sashaying away, but whatevs. Where the hell are they parachuting from anyway? Did they demand to be flown over a fucking battlefield just HOPING to land on our fortress? They're morons! Just sail in on your dainty little parachute while bullets and explosions are literally FILLING THE AIR. It would make sense if they could get shot, even by friendly fire...sort of exploding into a bloody splotch like the birds.

The dialogue from our castle is kind of awkward too. How many times did they call the enemy "rust buckets?" Think of something new, unidentified crew member. And also, yeah, we get it, something big is coming. We know it's a boss. Shut up already. I doubt that machine is bigger than Texas.

Fun, but easy. 5!

I'm a Pre-Production artist for Cyanide & Happiness! I'm also a professional voice actor, a published author, and I design t-shirts & artwork for heavy metal bands in the DFW area. Check out my links, check out my stuff, and stick around for a while! -GG

Geoff Galneda @Phobotech

34, Male

Animatics, Voice Act

Dallas, TX

Joined on 9/22/03

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