Galneda's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Hitchhiker Helen Animatic]

Right-on, it's good you're conceptualizing.

It's always a good idea to have a rough outline of what the final product will look like. Storyboards are one way to do it, through visual medians, but animatics can explain certain actions better than a storyboard at specific times; it's all situational.

Since we, the audience, don't have a script, storyboard, or anything else to work with to know where the story's going, I gotta ask...is that how the animation will end? Rock abruptly stops near edge of the cliff, and the force of inertia catapults the bunny into the adventurer girl propelling them both into the body of water?

We got the conflict, but that's sort of a weak climax...I feel like I watched the first 1/4th of a short animation. Although I was prepared for corners cut in the visuals, I wasn't prepared for corners cut in the content.

If you just wanted to show your friend the animatic, you could've uploaded it to NG's dump, and sent him the unique web address through a PM or an email, but since you uploaded this to the flash portal, I'm assuming you're looking for constructive criticism.

Music's good. Sound effects are acceptable. I would revise the bunnies extreme-close-up paw, and make it look less carnivorous and more like a bunnies paw...or if not that, make it more cartoony and anthropomorphic..I would just ditch the emphasis on the claws (yes, I know they have claws IRL, but they aren't like cat's claws)

Moreover the woman's shrieks were shrill and sure annoying. Huffing while running, while occasionally looking over her shoulder with an "OH NO!" "shiiiit!" or just the OCCASIONAL scream would suffice; all things in moderation. Plus, you'd think if she was sprinting ahead, screaming at that CONSTANT RATE would exhert too much energy. Again, it's a cartoon, so you got room to be whacky...I'd just tone it down a bit for the sake of being less annoying.

Additionally, you could up the funny by having the Bunny scream only when exposed from the rock. "AAhh!!-...aaAAAhhh!!-...aaAAAAhhh!!-
..." Y'know? Like a merry-go-round of PAIN.

Good effort; submit the finished product when you're done!

[Doom Ep 1: The Lighter]

...What?

First off, with the text box "NOISE" at the very beginning; Did you click and drag to enlarge it? If you'll look at it as the flash plays, it shakes all over the place, almost wildly, as it enlarges. Try saving the text as a graphic, creating a tween, and at the ending keyframe hold down shift as you drag the corner out to enlarge it. By holding down shift, it keeps the graphic proportionate so it doesn't warp, and by motion tweening the graphic, it'll enlarge smoothly instead of erratically.

While I'm all for Doom, as it shaped me into the person I am today when I was little, this flash doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Mostly because I can't understand what the hell either characters are saying...they're difficult to make out, and there aren't even any subtitles. Moreover, the voice of the zombie seems mismatched, and I'm uncertain if that was an attempt at a joke or not because it was so brief.

The whole thing is too bloody brief, and the punchline is missed on me, because I couldn't follow what the hell was going on through the dialogue you chose to do in this strange, strange format.

Moreover, although the font used was alright, we're treated to two backgrounds; gray and ONE Doom screen. Where's the shot diversity? Nowhere...and the beginning and ending gray is too bland and depressing; with a brand new Art Portal in the works, you shouldn't have a shortage of finding capable artists who could do a background or layout for you.

Keep working on it...the sprites synced up decently, but you should work on the overall presentation of the flash, clarity in your dialogue, and most importantly, content.

STRiKeRs-g0g3t4 responds:

First of all, Thanks all for Reviewing. ;)
I see the main problem is the charachter's speech and I knew this... I tried to fix it but this is the best I could I do... Reall, I didn't want to put real voices into the video 'cause I like to use synth voices, created with "voice simulator" like "Eloquens" or similar applications. Next time I'll try to make bettere voices... ;)
Now the "Noise Title": it shakes because I wanted that it did!! LOL But I'm agree that all the titles ar poor. This was a Test, and what I tested is how to use sprites and how to use Flash Editing basically.

I just answered a this post, but thanks all for the tips!!
(sorry for my bad english... LOL )

[an axem ranger story ep.1]

It ain't terrible, I've seen worse.

But, as far as content goes, this is completely unoriginal. An entirely interchangable plot, to characters who already have stories attached to them, dragged into a situation that's been told, (and told in this format) time and time again.

It goes double for the Axem Rangers; Alvin-Earthworm took from something that's already been done, and created them for his flashes, and you took from him, so those guys have been triple, or maybe even quadruple filtered through the originality spectrum.

While Brolly is a decent antagonist, look into his lore, and look into the Axem's lore. Brolly destroyed whole planets, with greater ease than even Frieza. The only reason Goku, Vegeta, and Gohan survived was because they were the strongest on earth...and even then, they only just BARELY got away.

With that said, what defeated the Axem Rangers (Mecha Sonic) is established to NOT be that powerful at the time he killed ALL FIVE (not just two)...so if this is a prequel of events, and the Axem's will clearly survive, it doesn't add up.

But we could get into how "your version of Brolly is different" or "this is my version of the Axem's, it's totally not linked to Alvin-Earthworm's Axems" all day. The point is, these characters have been done. This story has been told. These fights have been fought....and if you've been paying attention, these were all done years ago, and with fewer grammatical errors.

As an animator you're trying to tell a story, with content. This content is stale...and by being a storyteller, you're showing us the extra-ordinary happening within the ordinary.

This flash is the ordinary happening in the extra-ordinary. It just doesn't work. Give us, the audience, something new.

blackreaperr responds:

you are absolutly right about story been told etc but i really don't care if someone makes a movie like this with for example naruto i don't look at the story he already has in the anime i just look at what that person made and that is how i work i just make what i come up with no strings attaced and maybe you'll like the second part better since there will be a more deeper story who knows i just do this for fun and i still liked it plus when you said alvin's axems you where wrong they ain't his he just re-maked them there from mario as i said in my fun facts but anyway thanks for you comment

[Kill All The Haitians!!!]

That's the most offensive thing I've ever seen.

I'm absolutely disgusted by the thought that the NES could even EMULATE Vice City...the audacity of it all makes me sick to my stomach.

I mean, the game requires more buttons than the NES controller even has? WTF, guys....WTF.

(On with the real review)

The pretty colors are here again with your style, as to be expected, as well as many subliminal and blatant cocks make their appearance. This flash, however, lacks both the craft and length than your previous projects....yes, I meant to incorporate a subtle dick joke in that.

I had totally forgot about the Voodoo lady's mission to kill the Haitians, but by God to have been playing that resulting in the catastrophe in real time was worth a chuckle for the premise alone. I also like how God is black in time for Martin Luther King day. But the amusement in the fucked up humor was kinda robbed with the actual pictures of the victims and their bodies.

To take a step back, those guys have it rough right now...with deaths in the hundreds of thousands...the very least you could've done was animate or draw them. Take "Michael Jackson's End" for example. You drew the little boys taking it in the ass...therefore it was pretty messed up, but funny. If you had used pictures of real little boys taking it in the ass, it would JUST be messed up...

...and illegal, but that's not the point I'm trying to make here...

By adding the pictures of the haitian victims, it translated to a sign of laziness on your part. This entire flash could've easily been thrown together in a matter of just minutes, but realistically, probably hours.

While I'm not disturbed by the content (you guys of all people know you've done much worse...lol), I'm offset by the lack of quality that I'm used to seeing from you guys...so I gotta vote accordingly.

Have fun reading the rest of the reviews! I did my best to stand out as among the more honest.

Catoblefaux responds:

people bugged me to make one and i have other shit to do so i can't be assed to put any effort in this faggotry

[Date for One]

Cute, but lacks depth.

I guess I can't be too harsh on an animation that was made for school, but you're going to be reading a lot of brief, useless reviews, so I'll try my best to contribute something (arguably) useful.

Here goes;

As far as originality's sake goes, imaginary friends were topical in a time years before our age hit double-digits. By bringing the premise up to an adult age in an effort to throw on a twist of originality, it becomes borderline pathetic for our protagonist.

Though I suppose that's a point, because we're forced into feeling pathos for him judging by the music, but by the time he's making out and groping air on his bed, the audience had already deduced he's bringing this onto himself, and instead of thinking he's a lonely man desperate for companionship, we've decided he's a lonely MAD-MAN desperate for negative attention.

That would be alright if it were outright funny, but the jokes were soft, and a little PG (even the makeout scene on the bed, if we were going by Disney standards). Again, I can't be TOO harsh, as it was made for school, but it was what it was. Sufficient.

The animation was all smooth, and in general there were advanced methods used throughout; this was not a lazily animated piece. Visually, it had a very cartoony look to it, but with very stingy sound effect selections, it didn't maintain a cartoony feel. It was very soft-key, and the SFX reflected that, but the sounds that were used were well chosen.

The music stitched everything together nicely, though as it was beginning to end and she was reaching for the rose, the percussions in the song seemed so out of place, that I stopped and thought, "What was that?" before hearing it again, and noticing that it's supposed to sound like that.

It's a well done flash! My only complaint is the writing...err...where was I going with that? Oh yeah! Sufficient. This flash is sufficient. Great animation, Good audio, but mediocre story and content...making it sufficient.

The story didn't prod the audience...didn't go anywhere different, or throw any curveballs at us. In short, it was predictable. Right down to him bumping into his better half at the end, making the flash come full-circle. With a story that revolved around a man maintaining a relationship with an entity that simply wasn't there, there were MANY possibilities for absurd, awkward, or otherwise hilarious situations, all of which were either missed out on, or simply weren't elaborated enough.

Take the person in the theater. Our protagonist goes for the reach around, and his hand winds up in their lap. Does this result into some incredible hijink, the likes of which we've never seen before? Does the person assault the protagonist, or even creepier, goes along with it with a blush and a grope? We get none of that, but a cut to the restaurant.

Buying two tickets? What if there was a homeless/ugly individual who had no money to get in, but our protagonist is too much of a jerk to give his imaginary girlfriend's ticket up to the poor slob, and leaves her there, taking his two tickets with him?

What of the waiter? Do the wine stains on the tablecloth come out of his pay, forcing him to come home with nothing, which results in a fiery loathing of our protagonist for "ordering him" to pour wine on the table? We'll never know.

Even the bed groping and air-frenching scene could've had a simple "confused-expressioned pet, looking on in disgust and horror" gag, but it was all very run-of-the-mill.

I'm just saying, that with a dash of creativity, shifting that nifty imagination into high gear, even a simple school assignment could've been phenomenal. This was sufficient, even though God knows you have the talent to do otherwise.

Keep up the great work! I'm looking forward to seeing more of your newer submissions where I'll be keeping a "5" waiting. Until then, I'll have to give this one a "4"

[Avatar - Hot Na'vi Sex]

I laughed so hard!

...Then I got hard. :3

Great pace, and the delivery busted my ass up. Great job, as always!

[The Pigpen]

Wonderfully, AWESOMELY twisted!

This is pro-grade animation, man. The visual humor literally made me laugh out loud on it's own, and the sound effects were perfectly chosen. The music is well selected too, in fact, especially that Travelator music XD.

But, in all seriousness, this is incredible! I can't compare it to any other artist I've seen because......well....I guess I could give it a shot.

....It's like Tim Burton and Jhonen Vasquez were collaborated on notes made after watching Courage the Cowardly Dog / Beetlejuice on acid. There...I tried my best.

But even that comparison is unfair. This work is ORIGINAL, man, and you could EASILY bank. I put things in ALL CAPS to add EMPHASIS because I can't ITALICIZE these fonts in a REVIEW.....but no, seriously, you could EASILY BANK off your talent.

There were moments in their tripping out that had such fluid frame-by-frame that it made my jaw drop. Everything intentionally odd or creepy was fascinating to look at, and everything intentionally comical extracted a grin with ease.

If you didn't pass that school project, there is no God.

Keep up the phenomenal work...I began to notice you when I saw "Last Resort" and THIS flash has turned me into a fan. Voted 5 and faved!

[chair and a rock]

That's not how it works.

I'll "rate good" when it's finished and has sound. Until then, I'll vote poorly; just because you're bored doesn't mean we have to flatter you with praise you don't deserve.

Work at it. If it were easy everybody would do it.

[Long Live Melt-Banana]

Okay...what the hell...

I can dig "Long live Anthrax" ...Skeletons in the Closet wasn't a bad song, even though it was sped up. And I can totally get behind "Long live Megadeth" ...even though you picked an incredibly obscure song, far from their best work.

But Melt Banana? It's a stretch to call what they produce "music."

This has got to stop. Do an animation that actually requires effort, and not just cheap, daily pot-shots. Do something worth-while to animate as it is worth-while for us to watch.

Raulbarrera responds:

<33333333

[Counter-Strike vs Pokemon]

That was epic as hell!

This was incredibly well done. The humor is sewn into the concept itself, as a terrifying bloodthirsty Pikachu leaps off a blood-stained wall as it calls out it's name all cute-like...but it was really well shot for a flash.

Most other flash authors, even JohnnyUtah, have a tendency to keep things in a profile view, as if shooting a play on a stage. You displayed an array of shot diversity in this, and it translated beautifully. I was most impressed by the dynamic angles like the Charmander ambushing the entire squad before getting gunned down.

You can really tell you put a lot of effort into this. The soundtrack was perfect for the suspense, and you chose the appropriate sound effects for everything suited. However, the Counter Strike voice clips are a tad dated, and lacked diversity. You could've obtained much more flexibility with the dialogue if you had voice actors on bored...more on that in a bit.

The flash in itself was short and sweet with a good ending (with a hilarious twist ending...I seriously laughed out loud). My only REAL complaint is the lack of a replay button or, at the very least, a preloader with a play button so it doesn't just loop.

Keep up good work like this and you'll be the new legend in our midst...I voted 5!

In the future if you require voice talent, audition me, and I'd be happy to lend a hand! Once again, keep up the great work!

DoomzDayChikn responds:

thank you so much!

I'm a film major in school right now, so I have a tendency to do my flashes just like a real film. (The hardest part of this animation was going INTO Counterstrike the game and finding the right angles in-game to tell a story)

I wanted to keep the voices for the CS people as the radio-bot sounds, since everyone knows them : / but thanks for the suggestion! :)

and I'm kinda new to newgrounds and the 'preloader' so I dont know how it really works. Tips would be great!!

thanks again for your criticism, it means a lot