Galneda's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[The Siren - Animatic]

She's got a really cute design! I make animatics for a living and one thing I could suggest is having a shot-counter in the top left corner to make it a little more streamlined when you're getting notes. They could still use the time-stamp, sure, but that's just how I've always been taught how to do it- no real right-or-wrong there.

As they say, "as long as it reads" she and the fish look very polished, barely anything is rough about this, so I hope that's not consuming a lot of your time. If not, groovy, but if you're under a time-crunch, don't feel an aversion to get loose with it.

You're dealing with some shots that go back and forth between submerged and looking down on the surface of the water from above- there could be a color choice or visual that could indicate that just a little more clearly.

Anything else that didn't read to the eye immediately, clarified itself later, so I can't gripe on any individual detail- the whole short was fun, everything read well, I'm confident this is gonna look great in final.

Keenobishinobi responds:

Thank you so much for the feedback :)

[I do animation on YouTube, go subscribe if you want, this one is my latest work 😊👍]

I think you accidentally put all of the information that was supposed to be in the author description in the title. Which is too long to read, and thus, leaves this animation nameless.

Looking at your profile, you only have one other submission, and it's the same art you use for your avatar and header. It doesn't stylistically match the skill level of what's shown in this animation. So it got me suspicious if this is even yours.

I found a YouTube channel here

https://www.youtube.com/@t-artzstudios5819

And this same submission was uploaded there 11 days ago. Odd that you opted to lead your Newgrounds account with that particular submission and not your newest or your oldest. Could you explain why?

TartzX responds:

I’m sorry I’m really new to newgrounds, I just want to clarify that this is my work, I post animations on YouTube and some art on other platforms, again I’m very new to this so I apologize,
I hope I made some things clear

[Malcolm’s school 3]

This is still really hard to follow.

You got it right with the first shot - That's called an establishing shot. We see the outside of a building, so we (the audience) know that whatever happens next is probably inside that building.

Second shot is of the door at the foot of that building. This is great! This establishes direction, and we're about to go into the building.

Third shot is some blue kid with his singular foot on the desk. I don't know who this is, but at this point I'm assuming we're going to find out.

The next shot is...a kid frozen in an ice cube? But the chairs and desks are all in the same orientation, so I can assume we're being introduced to a cast of characters in a classroom.

The next shot is a kid asleep, also with his foot propped up on the desk.

And then we get Malcolm. I recognize him from the last cartoon of yours I reviewed.

Then a teacher is pointing at a chalkboard. Cuts back to Malcolm, signifying that he's paying attention. The teacher writes on the chalkboard, "Malcolm's School 3" ...and that match-cuts to a black background of the same message in white lettering.

Oh! This was the show's intro sequence! Okay. Hope we get to learn about our cast of characters.

We're back to Malcolm in class. I'm still following this so far.

The teacher is smiling really big at Malcolm, for some reason. Weird, but let's see where this goes.

Cuts back to Malcolm, who hasn't moved.

This next shot is where it loses me a little. There would appear to be a tiny woman in gigantic high-heels on the floor, based on the two mounds at the bottom of the screen. I'm guessing those are shoes? The only way this would make sense is if this were an action figure or something?

And then it just cuts to an inventory screen, and the woman is the only thing in it.

-Was the woman an action figure? That wasn't made clear in her design.
-Were those Malcolm's feet / was she beneath Malcolm? I couldn't tell, this was the first time we ever saw the floor.
-Did Malcolm pick her up? That wasn't clear either; cutting to the inventory screen could just mean he has an identical doll in his inventory. We need to see him picking her up.

It cuts to a closer shot of Malcolm, and then an extreme closeup of his arm throwing the doll away. The teacher grabs it.

Now with the teacher distracted or occupied with the doll, (which is apparently what he was smiling really big for a few shots back), Malcolm sneaks away.

Cut to Malcolm at the door to his classroom. Where are the other kids in this? One of them is a asleep and the other one's frozen, but the blue kid has with his one foot on his desk is still awake. Is it just these people in the classroom? We don't know, because we haven't seen a wider shot of who all is in here. Or WHAT all is in here.

It cuts to an exit sign with a laser grid over it. The last shot that we saw had Malcolm at the door to the classroom. Was this after he exited and now we're in the hallway? We never saw Malcolm leave the room, so the audience might think he's still in his classroom, and this EXIT door is within the classroom walls.

If you use wider shots to paint a scene, it tells your audience where everything is in relation to your character. It informs us all what the environment looks like.

It cuts to a closeup of Malcolm, and I'm still unsure where he is. If he's in the classroom or the hallway because there's no context. If he's in the hall, there could be lockers or a water fountain or something you would see in a hallway.

Then it cuts to a spooky kid...a ninja? In an air vent? It's kind of hard to tell what's going on anymore, because of the lack of details and animation.

The last time I left a review like this, you said you had a difficult time understanding what I was saying.

If it because of your age or a language barrier or something else? I'm trying to help your animations improve.

kaithomasisthegoat responds:

I’m sorry if you didn’t like it

[The Mangolodeon]

"WELL IF IT ISN'T THE MANGO"

"I need more clinky clinkies made out of bestgar to save baby gogo"

"BUT YOU TOOK OFF YOUR HELMET IN FRONT OF SOMEONE, GOODBYE"

"This is that way"

"THIS IS A WAY"

ExtraLongLunch responds:

Now go bathe in the land of the living water...for then- you will be absolved of your sin.

That is the only way...

[Malcolms school 2]

It's really hard to follow, because there's no consistent scene composition. In the beginning, its clear that he's in the nurse's office, and we can tell where everything is in relation to itself. But once he leaves that office, everything starts becoming scrambled because of the lack of animation, lack of contextual background assets, and lack of direction.

It's not animated, and it's not even a flip-book, it is a slideshow of shots in this state.

Here's an example, at 1:06 he's entering the men's room. It's a close-up of the door that says MEN'S, and we're looking at it through a POV of Malcolm entering from the bottom right.

-Next frame-
Malcolm is standing against a grey background, presumably the interior of the bathroom, in a medium shot, looking to stage left. In this sequence, the flow of motion is established from stage bottom right to stage left. Things are moving to the left. What could help clarify that we're in the interior of a bathroom is if the background had sinks & mirrors, towel dispensers, the other side of the same door, a trash bucket overflowing with crumpled paper towels, stalls, or anything other than just a flat color. Hell, tilework. Graffitti. It's a blank canvas for you to decorate.

-Next frame-
In an abstract art piece, we have a background that's 2/3rds gray and 1/3rd blue, separated by a black line. This reads, contextually, that a guy is talking from behind a closed stall because he asks "Does anyone have toilet paper?!" His speech bubble is moving to the left of the dividing line, but it isn't clear where this stall is in relation to Malcolm. The audience has to guess and it's a 50/50 chance that we think things are still moving to the left, or we notice that "Oh this video game level's background is grey, so the stall must be blue, therefore to the right of him"

-Next frame-
Our hero calls out "NO" over his shoulder to the screen right. If people guessed correctly that the stall was to the right, we're still in the scene. But if they guessed it was to the left of Malcolm, this breaks the 180 rule, and it disorients them. What could've helped it become clearer is if the stall walls were articulated, like you drawn the top of them at the very least so that we can say "Oh, it's a stall, and it's over there."

Eventually there's shenanigan's involving an air vent, and the direction gets decidedly muddled in the sequence.

If the audience was being led to believe that things are moving in a consistent direction, we have an idea of where everything is in relation to our character. Suddenly that's proven to be wrong, or we're blindsided by a weird compositional choice, and without motion to help convey the flow of direction, we're going to get lost. Without recognizable landmarks, we're also going to get lost. If that keeps happening over and over again, your audience loses interest and they're just like "whatever, I guess this thing wasn't made well or something" and this gets forgotten.

Look into the 180 rule, add motion to characters and camera alike, and detail to your environments to help the audience understand where they are in relation to your character and their journey.

kaithomasisthegoat responds:

My brain is having trouble process your comment and I don’t even know how to animate

[Aisle 99]

This is amazing! Exceptionally well-done; I'm familiar with ToonBoom Harmony, and you've pulled off some really impressive stuff with the programs at your disposal. Extremely recognizable talent, and I'm invested to see where this is gonna go.

If you ever need a male voice actor, throw my hat into the pool; I just ask for my name to be spelled right. Been working professionally with Cyanide & Happiness more than half a decade.

Aisle99 responds:

An ΩΜ representative will be in contact with the next appropriate opening.

[Jadsi's Scratch Sendoff]

Yeesh.

-Who kneels like that? Look at an image of someone kneeling dramatically, and is their weight balanced like that?

-Audio balancing. Your lines are coming in super quiet and her lines are coming in disproportionately louder. Make 'em match. If people need to be turning up their speakers to hear your dialogue, you're going to annoy your audience when she comes in super loud right after. Speak clearly and at a good projections, and you can make adjustments to gains and volume as you're editing audio.

The navigator bar at the top is a great touch.

You'll get there man, just keep practicing!

jadasse responds:

I'm not the best at animating or drawing, so don't expect the best content from me. Also, I updated the zip with the fixed volume mixing. Thanks for the feedback!

[Tael Escapes]

This looks dynamic as hell! I'm a professional animatic guy, and I'm surprised to see how thoroughly colored this is. It's extremely polished for something in the pre-production phase, but everything reads. Nothing is unclear, this thing is practically ready for an inbetweener.

Shoot, if you ever need a male voice actor, I am more than down to throw my hat into the ring. Lemme know if I can help!

Nominous responds:

Hey thanks Galneda. Keep in touch I might need more voice actors if I can ever get the ball rolling fast enough. Right now I'm moving like Molasses, with work and all the extra burdens of life. But yeah, thank you. I have a tendency to draw to many keyframes cuz im more of an animator.

[Project Beetle Tower: Mega Buster]

That's pretty badass. Big fan of the Gundam sound effects, and I love the reflectivity on the Buster. The shading on the gloved hand.

I wanna see how you stylize a full-bodied X. Let's see him in action!

And if this is during Dr. Light's lifetime, are we gonna see OG Mega Man? What about Proto Man and Bass? Lots to work with, I'm excited to see where this is gonna go.

drluigi3760 responds:

I'm happy to be hear that. More teasers will come along the way.

[Bizarre Breach]

Is that the shrimp from Smiling Friends on the right?

Irish-John101 responds:

It is, a guy we play with uses it as his profile pic